When the Mask Slips: What Happens When a Narcissist Is Exposed Etienne Van Den Peereboom

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Can a narcissist change?” — the uncomfortable truth is no, they rarely do. No amount of reasoning, empathy, or exposure will make a narcissist face reality. In fact, the more you expose their lies, the more they retreat, deflect, or try to rewrite the story. When their mask slips, they don’t apologize — they disappear.

Understanding the Narcissist’s Reaction to Exposure

Narcissists thrive on control and image. When that’s threatened, they often respond with denial, rage, or complete silence. They might:

• Delete online traces or social media pages.

• Attack the person who exposed them.

• Pretend nothing ever happened.

• Create a new narrative to regain sympathy or power.

  
  

I recently saw this unfold firsthand. An email was sent to warn potential victims about a self-proclaimed “snake oil salesman,” Etienne Van Der Peeraboom. In the name of transparency, both he and his so-called litigation partner at Handle.ae copied on the email.

But once the truth surfaced, the page vanished — a classic narcissistic move. When exposed, they don’t take accountability; they erase the evidence.

Why You Can’t Make a Narcissist Change

A narcissist’s identity depends on maintaining control and superiority. Change would require them to face deep shame and insecurity — something they’ll go to great lengths to avoid.

That’s why exposure doesn’t reform them; it reveals them.

Trying to change a narcissist only drains your energy. Instead, focus on:

• Setting clear boundaries.

• Staying fact-based and calm.

• Protecting your reputation and peace of mind.

• Surrounding yourself with supportive, grounded people.

  
  

The Impact of Narcissistic Behaviour on Relationships

Narcissistic behaviour can have a profound impact on relationships. It creates a toxic environment where manipulation and deceit thrive. You may find yourself constantly questioning your reality. This can lead to feelings of confusion, frustration, and even self-doubt.

Recognising these patterns is crucial. Understanding that you are not the problem can empower you to take control of your life.

Building Your Resilience

To protect yourself from narcissistic manipulation, building resilience is key. Here are some strategies:

1. Educate Yourself: Knowledge is power. Learn about narcissism and its effects. This will help you identify red flags early on.

   
   

2. Practice Self-Care: Prioritise your mental and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

   
   

3. Seek Support: Surround yourself with people who uplift you. Share your experiences with trusted friends or professionals who understand.

   
   

4. Establish Boundaries: Be clear about what behaviours you will not tolerate. Stick to these boundaries firmly.

   
   

Final Thoughts: The Power of Awareness

You can’t change a narcissist, but you can change how you respond. Every time you recognise manipulation, gaslighting, or deceit for what it is, you take back your power.

In the end, truth doesn’t need to shout — it just needs to shine light where the narcissist hides.

Remember, the journey to reclaiming your peace may be challenging, but it is worth it. Stay vigilant and protect yourself.